We’ve all heard of the “player.”
But not all players are created equal.
Some men aren’t looking for cheap thrills — even though they live in chaos.
Some men don’t want low-value connections — even though they behave in low-value ways.
Some men chase quality women while drowning in their own toxic patterns.
And that’s the dangerous kind:
The high-standard player.
He’s the one who claims he doesn’t love you,
yet keeps coming back — again and again.
He gets jealous when someone else wants you.
He projects his own sins onto you.
He hides behind emotional walls,
while living a life of multiple sexual encounters,
as if intimacy means nothing.
Yet somehow, you’re the one he’s threatened by.
Sound familiar?
It does for too many women.
Let’s break this down.
✨He Wants an Empress — But Acts Like the Devil
This man doesn’t want a “cheap” woman.
He wants someone:
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strong
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rare
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valuable
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discerning
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emotionally centered
He wants the Empress — the woman who is respected, stable, and powerful in her energy.
But here’s the paradox:
He wants high-quality love while offering low-quality behavior.
He surrounds himself with distractions — casual sex, emotional drama, shallow connections — not because he’s fulfilled, but because he can’t face his own reflection.
Men like this aren’t looking for a partner.
They’re looking for a mirror to distract them from their wounds.
✨Why Do They Act This Way? The Root of Their Behavior
At the core of this man's behavior lies a mix of deep insecurity, childhood trauma, PTSD, and emotional neglect. Men like this often struggle with feelings of inadequacy, low self-worth, and a fear of vulnerability. Their behavior isn’t an accident — it’s a defense mechanism, a way to protect themselves from the deep wounds they’re too afraid to confront.
Trauma from Past Toxic Relationships & PTSD:
Men like this often come from toxic past relationships where they were either deeply hurt or manipulated themselves. This kind of trauma leaves scars that can manifest in post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), trust issues, and a fear of intimacy. The love bombing phase in their previous relationships may have been a way to temporarily soothe their insecurities, but when the reality of commitment sets in, their past trauma resurfaces.
Love Bombing, Gaslighting, and Breadcrumbing:
In their attempts to keep control, these men will often love bomb in the early stages — overwhelming you with affection and promises that make you feel like the center of their world. But this behavior is a manipulation tactic, designed to hook you in. Once they’ve secured your emotional investment, they often shift to gaslighting, making you question your own reality, or breadcrumbing — giving you just enough attention to keep you interested but never truly committing.
They may try to convince you that you’re overreacting or that you’re the one who is "too sensitive" when you call them out on their toxic behavior. This is because they have a deep fear of vulnerability — and rather than confronting their emotions, they deflect, manipulate, and blame you for their actions.
Obsession and Anxiety:
Men like this get obsessed with the idea of you, even if they can’t be fully emotionally present. They may constantly think about you, but in a way that’s more about possession than true love. Their obsession becomes a spiral of anxiety and depression, where they’re torn between wanting you and being afraid of losing control.
They can’t handle the idea of you moving on or having a life without them, and that obsession can turn into unhealthy jealousy or possessiveness. It’s not love — it’s emotional dependency and fear of abandonment rooted in their own unresolved issues.
✨He Denies His Feelings Because He Fears Them
When you fell for him, you didn’t fall for a cheap man.
You fell for someone intense, magnetic, and complicated.
But intensity without accountability becomes toxicity.
He denies loving you, not because he doesn’t feel anything,
but because feeling something terrifies him.
Admitting he loves you would mean:
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vulnerability
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responsibility
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honesty
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commitment
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change
And players like him aren’t equipped for change.
They’re equipped for avoidance.
So he denies.
He runs.
He hides.
But he always comes back.
Because you touched a part of him no one else reached.
✨He Avoids Owning His Mistakes and Accountability
A key feature of the high-standard player is that he never truly owns his mistakes. Instead of taking responsibility for his actions, he will blame you for his behavior or shift the narrative so that he’s the victim. This is a key part of his emotional manipulation.
If he cheats, lies, or betrays your trust, he will never admit to his fault in a way that shows growth or self-awareness. Instead, he’ll turn the tables and accuse you of being too demanding, too sensitive, or too much to handle. This lack of accountability is a coping mechanism — he can’t confront his own weaknesses or failings because that would mean facing the fact that he is incapable of real commitment.
Men like this deflect, avoid, and gaslight rather than taking ownership of their actions. They leave you questioning your own sanity, while they escape the discomfort of facing the truth. This is what keeps the cycle of emotional manipulation in place.
✨His Jealousy Reveals His Truth
A man who “doesn’t care”
does not get jealous.
A man who “isn’t in love with you”
does not panic when you have someone else.
A man who “isn’t affected”
does not stalk your life, question your moves, or become possessive.
Jealousy is the crack where truth leaks out.
It exposes what he refuses to say:
He wants you — but he doesn’t know how to keep you.
✨Projection: The Player’s Favorite Defense Mechanism
A man who has had multiple sexual encounters cannot accuse you of disloyalty.
But he will.
Why?
Because projecting is easier than self-awareness.
He will put his own sins on your shoulders:
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his cheating
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his impulsiveness
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his fears
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his guilt
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his lack of self-control
This is a psychological shield.
If he convinces himself you’re the problem, he never has to fix himself.
✨Spiritual Blindness, Soul Ties & Inner Battles✨
Some men act the way they do because they are spiritually wounded. Their past — toxic lovers, trauma, addictions — can create soul ties that keep them stuck in darkness. Their spirit becomes clouded with confusion, lust, and emotional chaos.
It may feel like they are influenced by something heavy, something dark — but most of the time, it’s not possession… it’s pain.
It’s unhealed trauma.
It’s generational cycles they never escaped.
It’s the spiritual warfare they never learned to fight.
They aren’t choosing evil —
many don’t even understand why they behave this way.
And sometimes, all you can do is pray for them from afar.
✨Prayer for His Healing & Transformation✨
“Father, in the name of Jesus, I bring this man before You. I ask for Your healing power to touch every part of him — his heart, mind, and spirit. I plead the precious blood of Jesus over him, breaking every chain of addiction, lust, and emotional pain. Cleanse him from the scars of past trauma, generational curses, and unhealthy soul ties. Remove any spiritual blindness that has kept him in darkness and deception.
Lord, I pray that You would wash him clean with the blood of Jesus, bringing peace to his mind and healing to his wounds. I declare that he is not defined by his past, but by Your love and the sacrifice of Jesus Christ on the cross. Break every stronghold and set him free from the patterns of fear, insecurity, and self-doubt.
Father, renew his mind and give him the courage to take accountability for his actions. Restore his sense of self-worth and self-respect, and lead him into a life of wholeness, honesty, and love. May he turn to You for guidance and strength, and may Your Holy Spirit work in him to make him a new creation.
I pray for protection over me as I release him into Your hands, trusting that You have a plan for him. In Jesus' mighty name, Amen.”
✨Bible Verses to Pray Over Him✨
✔ Ezekiel 36:26
“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you.”
✔ Psalm 51:10
“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”
✔ John 8:36
“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”
✔ 2 Corinthians 5:17
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.”
✔ Isaiah 61:1
“…He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives.”
✨Why Women Fall for Him — And Why They Must Wake Up
Women don’t fall for him because they’re weak.
They fall because they’re empathetic.
Because they see his potential.
Because they sense the soul under the chaos.
But potential without maturity is a trap.
Women must remember:
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You are not his therapist.
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You are not his mother.
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You are not his emotional punching bag.
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You are not a rehab center for broken male egos.
Your discernment is strong — trust that.
You saw through him.
You sensed something deeper.
And that’s exactly why he ran.
Men like him fear the women who can see their truth.
✨Advice to Women Dealing With Men Like This
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Do NOT let his chaos become your identity.
His sexual history, his emotional issues, his darkness — none of that belongs to you. -
Do not let him rewrite the story.
Projection is not truth.
His guilt is not your guilt. -
Do not chase a man who denies what he feels.
A man who can’t say it cannot build it. -
Do not confuse intensity with love.
Intensity can be addiction.
Love is stability. -
Do not lower your value for someone who sees it but can’t honor it.
If he knows you’re rare but treats you like you’re replaceable —
WALK. -
Protect your peace like it’s sacred.
Because it is.
Because YOU are.
✨You Are the Empress — And He Knows It
Women like you aren’t easy to find.
Men like him know that.
That’s why he keeps coming back,
why he gets jealous,
why he panics when you’re gone.
But knowing your worth and respecting your worth are not the same.
You can love someone who is broken.
But you cannot fix someone who chooses to stay broken.
He may want an Empress…
but he is still living like the Devil.
And you deserve a man whose energy matches yours —
not one who drains it.
Thanks for reading my blog!
I hope this helped you see your worth and gave you the clarity you needed. Remember, you deserve someone who matches your energy — not someone who keeps you guessing. Keep shining✨, and don’t settle for less than what you’re worth! 🌟😘🌞
Until next time!~🌸earthangellibby118 🌸